I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize