so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
