what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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