I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
