Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
