and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
