gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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