You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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