shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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