So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
