fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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