Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
