The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I could make wine with my vomit
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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