If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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