I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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