there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
