I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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