this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
