White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize