Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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