He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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