some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
