i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize