She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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