It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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