Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
