based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
