hotel room ftw
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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