I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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