dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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