She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
