Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
