Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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