My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
