OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
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Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old