Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you drinking alone?

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  no, i'm watching house

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  That doesn't count.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  wtf, then i'm always alone

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  (601): Are you drinking alone? (662): no, i'm watching house (601): That doesn't count. (662): wtf, then i'm always alone http://tfl.nu/bvid
  Replies (18) Good night (915) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.

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  (919): I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen. http://tfl.nu/75lv
  Replies (32) Good night (1414) Bad night (2918)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.

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  (415): From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle. http://tfl.nu/bjh3
  Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (3000)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.

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  (202): She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified. http://tfl.nu/adq0
  Replies (14) Good night (1491) Bad night (5525)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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  (856): I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent http://tfl.nu/ara2
  Replies (6) Good night (2576) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores

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  (631): his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores http://tfl.nu/t2gu
  Replies (6) Good night (2226) Bad night (1512)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead

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  (502): Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead http://tfl.nu/4b2b
  Replies (18) Good night (5356) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.

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  (440): Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis. http://tfl.nu/jmye
  Replies (7) Good night (1781) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.

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  (303): Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass. http://tfl.nu/tyko
  Replies (5) Good night (717) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?

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  (519): sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you? http://tfl.nu/5tj4
  Replies (8) Good night (719) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night

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  (312): Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night http://tfl.nu/k1kb
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight

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  (813): I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight http://tfl.nu/hz5m
  Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle

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  (804): i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle http://tfl.nu/e8dz
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.

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  (707): One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it. http://tfl.nu/0fd3
  Replies (0) Good night (670) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  me + whiskey = a bad person

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  (512): me + whiskey = a bad person http://tfl.nu/4d99
  Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (158)

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