hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.