Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize