I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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