IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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