that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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