Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
