my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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