She said her name was "party"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
