I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
