He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We talked him into tasing himself.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize