you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
