I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
