I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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