Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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