I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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