Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
