he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
