I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i love accidental penises.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
