Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize