apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I will pee on everything he values.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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