he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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