Who did Billy Mays play for?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
