i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
