he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize