Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
