What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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